A very good friend once gave me a good piece of advice. I didn’t want to hear it at the time and dismissed it. I was going through a really tough time and all I wanted was for the storm I was in to settle down.
I know now that she was trying to manage my expectations. She told me how throughout her life, nothing stayed the same for long. She used the example of her children growing up and how the different stages they went through, changed life for them, and her. Years later, looking back on my life, I have to admit, she was right.
Sometimes the changes have been big and ‘life changing’ and sometimes they’ve been small, but nonetheless, looking back, nothing seems to have stayed the same. I’ve felt on many occasions that snug, warm, fuzzy feeling where I’ve sunk into my sofa in the evening thinking…life is so gooooood. But then out of the blue, a boulder (be it big or small) hits my world, replacing that warm, cosy feeling for a gut wrenching feeling of fear and dread.
Let’s take my son’s transition to teenager. One minute he was this cute lad that wanted cuddles with mum on the sofa, depended on me and talked to me incessantly. The day then came when all he wanted to do was stay in his room in the company of his computer. Grunts replaced words. ‘How was your day at school honey?’…’grunt’. ‘Do you have any dirty laundry sweetie?’…’Grunt’. I know some of you will sympathise with that!
I really struggled with this transition. This to me was a big boulder. I’d heard people say in the past how challenging raising a teenager was but no one could have prepared me for the grunts, the silence, the invisibility, the fact that it wasn’t the done thing to give your mum a hug and certainly not cool to tell her you loved her. But…2 years on, we’ve all survived the transition. The grunting has stopped; he spends more time with my husband and me. He also gives me hugs, albeit behind closed doors!
One thing is for sure, boulders will keep coming. Some are very substantial such as the death of each of my beautiful grandparents. Others much less so. Last week, I was driving along rushing from one appointment to another when a stone hit my car windscreen. It smashed it. In the grand scheme of things, this was a tiny stone but nonetheless, it still had an impact. This tiny stone had caused my life to seem different than it was before it hit my car windscreen.
But that’s life; things change and look different on a daily basis. Even life’s smallest of stones can have a negative effect, casting a cloud on everything else going on in our lives. The same friend who gave me the advice years ago, later gave me a photo frame with a well-known quote, ‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain’. I really want to master the ‘dancing in the rain’ thing. After all, I’m only going to get one chance at life and I want to embrace life and have it abundantly (John 10 v 10).
Inspiring Radiance 